Article
Two: Emotional Intelligence – what’s all the fuss about? by
Gaynor Lowndes
For the past six months or so I have been researching this hot topic with the hope of developing some training workshops around the principles of emotional intelligence. I have believed for some time that there was a new way of thinking and wanted to pass this on to the recruitment industry. As a result of this research, we have developed a full day workshop “Selling with Emotional Intelligence” that focuses on understanding and then incorporating the principles of emotional intelligence into the sales process. This article presents a generalised and introductory approach to the principles of emotional intelligence.
Daniel Goleman developed the principles of emotional intelligence, believing that IQ and other behavioural tests were an inaccurate predictor of how well a person would preform “on the job”. Goleman has spent many years developing his ideas, gaining his doctorate in psychology from Harvard University.
He believed that emotions play a far greater role in human interaction than we think they do as we all have freedom to choose our response to any given stimulus. IQ has little impact on Emotional Intelligence
(EQ).
We have now been introduced to 4 intelligences –
(a) mental intelligence (IQ) – our ability to reason and think, use language and comprehend
(b) Physical Intelligence (PQ) – this is what our bodies do without conscious effort
(c) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – our ability to be able to communicate with others through various means
(d) Spiritual Intelligence (SQ) – Our drive for meaning and connection with the infinite
Why do people behave in different ways when faced with the same situation?
Goleman believes that it is because of the individual level of emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence can be defined using ARROW
Awareness – Being aware of how your personality impacts others
Restraint – Identifying negative emotions that can cause damage
Resilience – Developing an optimistic, persistent nature
Others (empathy) – Developing an emotional radar
Working with others (rapport) – Communication, active listening
Awareness means that we are willing to see ourselves from outside ourselves, that is, we are able to see ourselves as others see us and manage ourselves accordingly. For example, have you ever wondered why a situation didn’t go your way? Maybe because you were not aware of the effect you were having on the other person.
Restraint is just that – the ability to know when to exercise restraint in a situation. Have you ever been kept awake at night by something you wished you hadn’t said that day or been embarrassed remembering a situation where you blew your top and seemed justified at the time but later felt you went too far?
Resilience – optimism is the backbone of resilience. Each day each one us endures rejection, difficult negotiations and difficult people as well as changing circumstances. Has there ever been a time you just wanted to give up?
Others (empathy) - Empathy is about really walking in the other persons shoes. It is much more than being sympathetic. Those recruiters with well developed empathy can read between the lines of situations and understand client and candidate motivation. Have you ever misread a situation but not realized until later?
Working with others (rapport) – Most recruiters are pretty good at building rapport, that is until we are challenged. Have you ever been confrontational when faced with a client or manager disagreeing with you?
Did you know that facial and body language are more reliable forms of communication than words? Individuals who can understand non-verbal body language are more popular than those who don’t – get good at reading non-verbal signals and you can make anyone feel great in your presence.
As a recruiter, emotional intelligence becomes more important because we are dealing with people all day everyday. The buying process depends largely on our ability to make other people feel at ease with us. Remember that people but from people they like, and are like them.
By mastering the concepts of emotional intelligence, we can improve our lives and become more successful in our working environments. Emotions are habits, and like any habit, out of control emotions can undermine our best efforts. However, by unlearning some emotions and developing others, we can have control over our lives. Settle on the kind of emotional force you want to be – how do you want others to feel around you?
The principles of emotional intelligence focus on you as an individual regardless of your circumstances, past or present. By mastering the principles of Awareness; Restraint; Resilience; Others (empathy) and Working with others (rapport) you will also master the dynamic of human interaction – that can only spell success for you and all those who come into contact with you, both personally and professionally.
Gaynor Lowndes, the Managing Director of The Recruitment Training Company, has over 18 years recruitment experience, gained in both Australia and the UK. Her first book called “the Art of Recruitment” is quickly becoming the recruiters bible. It is available on her website
www.trtc.com.au.
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